I bet I'm not the only woman in the world who has said something like, "But I love them! I don't want to let go! I don't want the relationship to end!" Oh how I remember that feeling...the heaviness of it like a weight on my heart, the tightness in my chest, and the fear that crept over my body like a wave of chills at just the thought of it.
And yet, I had to. I had to let go, and on some level, I knew it. Clinging was only hurting me, yet I couldn't let go. Why?
The usual answer is fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of missing out on love. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of never finding that kind of love again. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of being alone forever.
Fear is a primal mind, survival instinct thing. It's something the mind does to "keep us safe." Fear is what trips our fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reaction.
With direct threats a thing of the past in terms of dinosaurs and such, these days our fear mechanisms mostly entice us to not change, to stay in our comfort zone no matter how pointless it may be to do so...because things are more predictable in our familiar comfort zone. We know what to expect and how to play the game there.
If we venture too far away from or out of our comfort zone, what then? Might we get eaten by a tiger? The realm beyond our comfort zone is unknown territory. Anything could happen, and the mind hates not knowing, not anticipating, not having control. And since it is bent on survival, it will almost always imagine the worst.
So how do we let go when we really don't want to? When every fiber of our being is in resistance? When we are terrified?
Oh yes, it takes a mighty courage! But really all it takes is an ownership of our highest truth—that truth we're trying so hard to ignore, the one dwelling in our deepest heart that's been shouting at us for months, asking for change, asking for peace, asking for more than the crumbs we are given.
This is an outcry of the soul, our soul, for breath and life and joy! The soul longs for upliftment and fulfillment. Its greatest desire is to evolve. Yet it cannot evolve on crumbs, and broken promises, and disrespect, and disappointments, and self-doubt, and self-neglect.
The soul, our soul, needs our clearest attention, our highest devotion, and our committed heart to honor its voice above all others. This is not selfish. It's self-aware. We are in the best position to be of powerful service in the lives of others when we ourselves are full, not starving and struggling.
Sharing genuine compassion, joy, and love comes easy when we are filled with them within ourselves first—compassion toward ourselves, joy bursting from our heart, love flowing to spare and share. When we come to that, letting go of the people, places, and things that don't serve our soul's upliftment becomes easy, a natural flow rather than a struggle inside, the next right aligned action on our path. And, we do it with not only ease, but compassion, love and grace. What a gift…