CECI ZÚÑIGA / CZ Mentoring, LLC

How to cope with the stressor of the day

10/10/2021

This week, lots of folks are asking me how to function in the day under the weight of such distress around them. In Texas, much of the recent distress is linked to another school shooting and to the tension around a woman's right to sovereignty over her body. If you're NOT in Texas, remember that on some level and when tuned in, we all feel what happens around us, even as far away as across the globe.

As energy beings, we share the larger energetic field with the rest of reality. We all swim in the same ocean, so in the highest order of things, we can't escape any of it. The quote of the day is: "None of us can truly be happy until all of us are."

So...how do we cope? Two words: grounding and practice.

In the simplest sense, GROUNDING means feeling your energy grounded into (or held by) the earth beneath you and/or the sky above you, with you as a hollow bone or conduit through which pure energy flows in and out on every breath.

PRACTICE means you literally do a spiritually-based activity every single day that centers you into your highest self (like yoga, meditation, mindfulness, art, dance, etc.).

We can't serve those around us when we ourselves feel off-balance or are emotionally overwhelmed and energetically exhausted. To truly show up in the world, we must take care of ourselves so we can stand with genuine confidence and powerful presence. As the saying goes, "Put on your oxygen mask first, then help others with theirs."

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Are you causing yourself or others suffering without knowing it?

10/9/2021

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Many people who are energetically sensitive or empathic don't realize it, and mistakenly believe that what they feel inside belongs to them when it actually may belong to someone or something else. Sensitives pick up the energies around them, sometimes from pretty far away...even as far away as across the globe. Amazing, right?

But not when you realize that we are made up of the same elements as the rest of life, so we resonate with the whole of it on some level...which means we are not truly separate from anything in this reality. Isolating ourselves or trying to ignore what we feel doesn't make it stop. In fact, it may intensify it.

It's our job to sort what's ours from what we're picking up on that belongs to others. But most of us aren't taught HOW to sort this. There's a shamanic tool called shielding that helps us. Shielding is a way of setting an energetic boundary around you, so you can distinguish what's emanating within your auric field versus what's emanating outside of it. When something originates within your auric field, it's yours to deal with. When it doesn't, it's not. At least, not directly. Nice, huh? Shielding is a technique members of the After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program learn and practice. But I digress...

Energy has to MOVE. To stay physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and energetically healthy, we must move the emotional energy we generate or absorb through and out of our body system. To move it, we first have to recognize it's there, own it, embrace it, examine it, and then we can release it, whatever "it" is.

The key is knowing HOW to release our emotional energy in safe and constructive ways. This means we do not direct it AT anyone or anything, or indulge it. Instead, we emote it in productive and neutral ways...like crying, screaming, dancing, creating, ceremony, journaling, laughing, or moving our body in some way.

These are just a few examples. In the After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program, members access an entire list of healthy ways to emote grief, anger (which work for anxiety and fear too), and even joy that don't cost anything, are safe, and productively move emotional energy out of the body. This is essential because most of us carry around an "emotional storage tank" that must be emptied in order for us to stay healthy and operate from a state of presence in our relationships and lives today.

When we don't do this clean up, the emotional baggage stored in our tank rears its head where it doesn't really belong, causing us to react in ways that don't really help and often can hurt. The challenge is that our emotional response patters are deeply ingrained habits that we often don't see in ourselves. Until they're pointed out to us or cause us enough pain to get our attention, we tend to overlook them...which isn't helpful in relationships.

Cultivating a healthy relationship dynamic means we look inward at our own patterns, preferences, and tendencies first, before pointing our finger at anyone else. I've learned that what we usually end up noticing is how our own choices and behaviors led to our experiences, and that other people involved are never 100% to blame, even as we may want to blame them. All relationships involve an inter-dynamic. When we finally accept responsibility for our part of things, we reclaim the power to change them. And that is when our spiritual journey truly begins.

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Are you caught in a trap of distraction?

10/1/2021

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You've probably heard the saying, "You have to feel it to heal it." After years of struggling to connect with and understand my authentic feelings, I get the value of this wisdom. What a difference it makes in our lives when we can embrace our emotions, honor what's true for us in the moment, heal, and grow on a soul level.

One of the ways we learn to avoid our feelings is by keeping ourselves busy all the time because we're too afraid to feel them. The technical term for this is distracting. Staying overly busy is one form of distracting. We cover several others in my powerful After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program.

This is also a part of our social conditioning—to be productive in this capitalistic society we live in. Value is placed on how much we produce, how much money we make, and how much we possess. We over-identify with what we do for a living, rather than attending to our genuine character.

In general, we aren't taught about the value of tending to our emotions and our inner world. Many of us have no idea how valuable things like emptiness, presence, and stillness are. This leaves us feeling disconnected from ourselves and disconnected from the rest of life.

Let's all remember to give ourselves the quiet, alone time we need to just sit with ourselves, witness, and embrace what feelings arise. Ignoring and resisting them just adds to our sense of stress, chaos, and discomfort inside. Yet when we honor our deepest truth, we find grounding and a sense of center, and we come home to our deepest integrity.

Being with our emotions may be uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier with practice. In my experience, we come to cherish the quiet, still times we enjoy, and the way the quality of our relationships and our life calms down and deepens as a result.

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Where did all our relationship bliss go?

9/20/2021

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Listen―we are all on our best behavior while dating and building a new relationship. Of course we want to put our best foot forward! Who wouldn't? It's not that we are totally fake when dating (although there are some real manipulative fakers and f**kers out there), but that we actively strive to make a good impression, so we aren't exactly exposing our whole messy selves.

That is, until we feel like we've "got them." That's not my phrase. It's one I hear from lots of women...and I really don't like it. I don't like it because we never "have" anyone. Genuine relationships aren't about trapping someone into ownership. They're about agreements and choices.

The most fulfilling relationships we have are those in which we stay together because we agree that we want to. And because we each choose to stay, over and over again. And because we both work at keeping ourselves and the partnership thriving...not because we feel trapped or obligated. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be with someone who really doesn't want to be with me.

There's a tender vulnerability and a deeper level of intimacy available through knowing that we each have the freedom to choose, every day, to stay committed to each other...or not. We pay more attention. We are more sensitive. We don't get lazy about ourselves, our love, or how we share them.

A mistake many of my clients make is believing that monogamy or marriage is a relationship guarantee. There are no guarantees in relationships, not even married ones, because people change and so do situations, all the time. Change is a constant state of this reality. There's no way around it. Everything eventually changes by decision, or death. If the changes in a relationship aren't dealt with as a unified team so that all parties feel fulfilled, problems arise. But I digress...

If you're tired of messy and painful relationship cycling, the way past it is to take space and time between relationships to heal and evolve inside. If you keep searching for the answer outside, you won't find it and will continue to hurt. Who cares what your ex chooses to do or how their life looks? That's not your concern. YOUR concern is YOUR life. Focus on what YOU choose to do to evolve yourself and your relationships for the long term. That's when you'll start seeing the results you want in your life.

One more thing: Conflict and challenge will arise in ANY relationship, especially intimate ones. I don't care how wonderful it is or how amazing our partner is! Relationships, by design, show us a very clear reflection of our deeper, more hidden selves (through our partner's eyes), and where our quirks and painful places are. Being able to clearly see these things allows us to evolve past them.

What I know is that we can't change what we can't see, and we NEVER see ourselves as clearly as others do. Our psyche is too tricky for that. Yet relationships give us an opportunity to see our wounds, strategies, and fears more clearly, to heal, to open our closed places, and to grow in our capacity for sharing unbiased love.

The trick is learning how to do this without losing ourselves or getting screwed in the process, especially for those who are energetically sensitive...and that's what the H.E.L.P. journey does for you, FYI.

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Did your ex discard you like trash and move on quickly?

9/17/2021

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I remember the sinking feeling that washed over me like a cold chill from head to toes when I found out my ex was seeing someone new and was happy. It crushed me. My knees buckled. And I sobbed...for months.

That was decades ago, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday. My whole world changed that day. My heart broke. My life ended too, in a way. I was filled with pain and regret. I couldn't imagine ever feeling that way about anyone else again. And I feared that I'd missed my chance at a great, lasting love.

I remember saying, "I feel like my life was stolen from me." I said that because it didn't take long before a new woman was happily living with my ex in the house I'd found for us. She was suddenly living the life I wanted and had spent a decade building. I was invested in that life. I still wanted that life. But someone else had it instead. The pain of it was overwhelming.

If you're reading this, I imagine you've been there too...

After sharing an intimate several years with someone talking about the future and how you envision building a life together, it's beyond painful to see them taking those steps with someone else, someone they haven't known for long. It feels like a slap in the face. We suddenly feel as if in all that time, we never meant anything to them, so easily disposed of and forgotten, discarded like trash.

"How can they be so happy with someone else already?" we ask. "Didn't I mean anything to them?" We wonder about this because while we feel devastated by the breakup, they seem untouched by it. They get on with their lives as if we never existed, while we struggle on with deep heartache and pain.

The thing is, it's easy to jump into the dating scene and a new relationship following a breakup. People do it all the time. It's a quick and easy distraction from dealing with anything real...like our feelings, secrets, fears, and hidden pain.

That's what we call an avoidant strategy. An avoidant strategy is anything we do to distract ourselves from dealing with our inner pain. It's a default pattern that's run by our subconscious psyche and our deep wounding. Distraction is one type of avoidant strategy. In the H.E.L.P. program, we take a deep dive into exploring this and other common problematic, subconscious strategies.

But for the moment, let's keep our focus on the compulsive dating thing. We all know someone who does it, someone who jumps out of one relationship and right into another pretty quickly. They seem happy, right? We might even feel envious or jealous, thinking about how lucky they are to find love so quickly, and how easy life and happiness seem to be for them.

Well let me tall you, my friend, this is NOT love. It's lust! And it actually points to a hard life for them, not an easy one...at least on the inside.

Follow the storyline long enough with your ex, and I can almost guarantee you will see the same patterns surface that you experienced with them. They may seem happy now because things are fresh and new, but give it some time to get real, and then watch what happens. You may actually find yourself taking pity on the poor new person because you've walked in their shoes and you know how badly it hurts.

New dating and new relationships always look great from the outside because at the beginning of any relationship, the body is rocking with lusty hormones! We feel excited, anticipatory, hopeful, and emotionally uplifted. If our core sense of self is fragile, it's validating and seductive for someone to be attracted to us and show interest in us. Our ego gets a massive stroking, which it loves, especially if it's got the steering wheel of our life.

Eventually though, the same old shit (i.e., strategies) hits the fan, and the relief felt in the newness fades. That's because all of that lusty, new relationship energy and excitement is fleeting, not permanent. It's the hormonal honeymoon phase of dating and relationships, and it's real. The body lusts. It's part of our biology. But the hormonal lusty feelings don't last.

Once the new relationship energy fizzles, and it WILL because it's a temporary hormonal state, your ex will wind up right back where they started from. The same patterns will eventually arise with anyone new because we all carry our wounds inside and they will show themselves in time. There's no way around it. Then, your ex will lose the hormonal, egoic fix they crave, and that party's over...so they'll move on to the next one.

Your journey might not look or feel as fun or pretty as your ex's chronic dating and relating can at the moment, but that's irrelevant. You're going for genuine long-lasting fulfillment, not a temporary fix. You're going for a healthy, sacred partnership that uplifts you and your partner as individuals AND as a couple, through both easy AND challenging times. You're going for a genuine connection and commitment with a person of integrity...or at least that's the case with most women I know, myself included.

If you're with us on this, then take new steps to uplift yourself, and put a STOP to the painful story of relationships you're getting caught in. And STOP comparing yourself to anyone else, especially your ex or their new person. And STOP trying to prove anything to anybody else, especially yourself.

You've GOT THIS. I know because if I was able to free myself from that struggle, then ANYONE can! Trust me. It's NOT out of reach. It's just a question of choosing a road out, like the one given by my After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program. Once you do, you're just one step away from a whole new life!

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Have you said THIS after a breakup?

9/14/2021

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"How could they move on so quickly when I'm an emotional wreck over our breakup?" I hear this, or some version of it, from clients all the time. And I've said it myself in the past.

The thought of our beloved discarding us like trash and replacing us so easily feels terrible. We reflect on all we gave to them and to our relationship. We question if any of it meant anything to them, or if they truly cared about us at all. We get that painful, sinking feeling in our gut that perhaps none of it was what we thought it was. Or worse, that we have no personal value to them or anyone else.

And that's when we buckle. The emotional weight of it is just too much to bear, and our heart breaks open. We crumple into tears of hurt, shock, regret, pain, and at some point, anger. Anger at them and anger at ourselves for not seeing it sooner, for not taking better care of ourselves, for putting everything we had into it, only to feel we got nothing real in return.

I am here to say...DON'T take what they do personally. Don't fret if your ex "dates someone else" or "loves someone else" or "marries someone else." I know it's easy to take that personally, because it feels personal, but it's not. The fact that they move on, however quickly, is NOT about you. And the fact that they seem happy without you is also NOT about you.

The thing is, our ex's sense of happiness is about them, just as our sense of happiness is about us. Genuine happiness means our ex can be happy and we can be happy, with or without each other. We don't actually give each other happiness or get happiness from each other. The ideal relationship is one in which we are each spiritually mature enough to share the genuine happiness we already hold inside with each other. Then we enter into a state of uplifting fun, healing, and growth together.

It took me a great deal of spiritual work to realize that the real sense of happiness we seek is born on the inside, not something we access on the outside. Until we find our happiness inside—a genuine happiness that's not dependent on external circumstances or conditions to arise—we spend our energy grasping for what we want, pushing away from what we don't want, and suffering because everything changes ALL the time. In this life, things constantly evolve, grow, and change by nature, decision and death. Nothing stays the same for long. So if you cling to what makes you happy on the outside, you will suffer when it changes.

Plus, in the highest order of things, none of us can truly be happy until all of us are truly happy. So be happy for other people when they find their happiness, especially those people you say you love. If you genuinely love them, you WANT them to be happy, even if it's without you...

I remember how PAINFUL it was for me to hear those words years ago. I was maybe 25 and I literally broke down and sobbed. I'd been through a very painful breakup and was an emotional basket case filled with hurt and regrets. Within weeks, my ex dove into a new relationship with a friend of his, and within months they were engaged. He seemed very happy, and I was devastated.

The woman he got involved with was the catalyst that inspired me to end our relationship. I sensed a strong connection between them and wanted to give him the space he needed to be sure of "us" before we made any further commitments to each other, because we'd talked of marriage. I knew it was risky, yet I also needed to be sure that marriage was something we both truly wanted.

In my distress, I sought the help of a pastoral minister because it was free and I was a graduate student barely getting by. Her words cut me to the core: "If you love him, don't you want him to be happy, even if it's without you?"

The moment she spoke them, I felt both tremendous grief and tremendous opening. It was the oddest sensation I've ever experienced. The thought of releasing him was devastating, yet the thought of him being truly happy was liberating. The moment she said the words, I felt the truth they held. I loved him so deeply, that I really did want him to be happy, even if was without me.

As with all things, I believe it worked out best in the end for each of us. Source has a way of holding us to our highest calling, whether we see it at the time or not. In hindsight with a wider, longer view of things, it's easier to see how the threads being woven into the larger tapestry of life serve not only us, but others we cross paths with. Once we "get" that, our entire world view shifts, and the way we relate to life opens up in powerful new ways that bring us an even deeper happiness.

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Are you trying to manage or hide empathic or psychic experiences?

9/7/2021

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Back in the day when I worked in the public school system, I got asked this question more often than you might think by the parents, students, and adults I worked with: "How do I know if this is psychic capacity and not something else?" They worried that it might be an emerging mental or emotional breakdown or illness as opposed to intuition or psychic/energetic sensitivity or a spiritual awakening.

Let me tell you, it's not always a simple thing to sort, yet it's also not that hard, either. Usually with a few simple questions, we can begin to reach some clarity. You just have to know what to ask.

I've come to believe that humans are born with psychic capacity, and that upon birth, we are wide open vessels of energy flowing through and around us. Consider that as newborns, we can't see clearly and don't understand language. Without clear vision or language, nothing gets "identified" or "labeled" as anything. It's just space with lots of sounds, tastes, colors, motions, smells, and other sensations. We are wide open vessels of energy and love flowing through us, more directly connected to Source and to our infinite nature than at any other time in our human development.

As our vision clears and we begin to learn language, that changes. Social conditioning upon our senses is quick and pervasive. A great deal of focus is given to the mind and its thinking capacities, which eventually dominates our psychic and energetic senses. We are conditioned to believe that the mind is our most important faculty and ally for survival and safety.

To a certain degree, that's true because we need language and reasoning to interact properly with this reality. Yet, it is also true that thought and language create restrictions and boundaries upon the openness, flow, energy, and psychic perceptions we are born with, as well as on our notions of what's considered "okay" or normal, and what's not. Honestly, I've come to see that one of our greatest hurdles to spiritual awakening is removing all the power we give to our mind and restoring our power to its proper home in our heart—the hub of our intuition and the portal to our infinite wisdom and nature.

I've also come to see that we can usually point to at least one experience from childhood in which we had a "psychic" moment, or perhaps felt more directly connected to infinite Source energy, before we got the clear message from those around us that it was unacceptable or unbelievable. As youngsters, our priority is to feel accepted, loved, and that we belong somewhere. To speak of things that are rejected, judged, or dismissed by others puts our sense of safety and survival at risk. So we quickly learn to keep things that others don't accept (such as intuitive knowing, or psychic communication or vision) quiet or hidden, to avoid feeling embarrassed, shunned, shamed, or rejected (unless we are one of the fortunate few who have parents that get it).

Yet, that doesn't mean our capacities don't exist, aren't legit, or just disappear. We just set them aside and they get overridden as we grow up, until such a time comes when it is right or it feels safe for us to examine them and embrace them again. If you look deeply enough, I'm guessing that you can find at least one instance of something more intuitive or psychic you experienced in your childhood, and that you wound up dismissing due to social conditioning...

Maybe you had an invisible friend, ally, or guide. Maybe you communicated with trees, birds, and animals (as I did). Maybe you saw visions or felt waves of future events. Maybe you were visited by strange beings or even ghosts. Or perhaps you had powerful dream experiences. Maybe you heard other people's thoughts or voices in your head. All of these can be signs of strong intuition or inherent psychic capacity. They don't have to mean there is a psychic or emotional break, illness, or breakdown happening, though it is wise to officially rule that out rather than assume anything.

As adults, most of us can point to our intuition and psychic capacity in action, like knowing the phone is going to ring before it does, and/or knowing who's calling before we answer. Or feeling a nudge to bring an umbrella with us on a sunny day, only to get caught in a rain shower later. Or sensing that we are going to cross paths with someone from our past moments before we actually do. Or knowing that a loved one is in trouble or has died before it's confirmed.

These are intuitive, psychic experiences, not mere coincidences. Everyone I know can point to at least one in their lifetime. Yet the fact that someone can't, doesn't mean they lack the capacity. It just means they've buried it deep inside. Chances are that it will resurface when the time and conditions are right and aligned for them to embrace and honor it.

So how do you know if you are energetically sensitive, empathic, or psychic? You know because you are. You are born that way, just like everyone else is. The question to ask is, what blocks you from acknowledging it?

If you're still doubtful, examining these questions can help:

Have you been described as too sensitive?
Are you emotionally tender?
Do you wear your feelings on your sleeve?
Do you connect deeply with what's around you?
Do you feel compassion for every little thing?
Do you love fully and deeply?
Have you been told that you are overly reactive or emotional?
Have you been described as having too high of expectations when it comes to living with integrity?
Are you told that you are too serious or boring or no fun?
Do you feel uneasy in safe crowds or around groups?
Do you feel exhausted after being around people?
Do you dislike "jokes" about other living things?
Do you feel deep empathy for the pain of others around you, or in the world?
Is it hard to separate other people's struggles from your heart?
Do you have trouble releasing painful images from movies, TV shows, or in books?

These things can mean many things, and among them is that they point to a deep, inner empathy, energetic sensitivity, and/or psychic capacity.

If you experience such things, it could mean that your energy field is too permeable or vulnerable. Or that you have invisible cords connecting you to people, places, or things that need to be released. Or that you have hyper-sensitivity from a past trauma wound that is still active. Or that there are ancestral or past life energies asking for healing.

These things can be easily dealt with, using the correct techniques. If you have questions, hop over to my "Connect" tab and send me a direct message. I can help you determine what's going on and how to get a handle on it.

And remember as always, nothing changes if you change nothing.

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How the energy of attachment impacts manifesting

8/28/2021

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The other day in my After A Breakup: Finding peace and power online women's group, the BIG spiritual teaching around non-attachment came up, and it arose within the context of manifesting. What most folks don't realize is that mastering non-attachment is one KEY to manifesting. And that non-attachment is more about what you do with your energy than what you do in your mind, though they are intimately connected.

You see, there are specifics to manifesting that involve your energy—the energy of your conscious and subconscious thoughts, plus the energy of the feelings you access when connecting with your dream. Those feelings carry a frequency that allows the Universe or Source to respond more easily and accurately to your dream. That's because feelings pack a more intense frequency than thoughts do.

To unpack this a bit more, there are four primary mistakes most of us make in relation to manifesting:

we are unclear about what we really want because we are afraid to ask for it (don't want to be disappointed, don't feel we deserve, believe it's out of reach, feel greedy or guilty, etc...)
we transmit our dream via conscious thoughts rather than feelings
we limit access to our dream with our subconscious thoughts
we attach our dream to a story about how it must look

Let me give you an INSIDER'S TIP: navigating all four of these in a specific way is essential to successful manifesting! This particular blog is about #4, or how our attachments block our dreams from manifesting.

The key is in realizing that when it comes to manifesting, when I say "non-attachment," I don't mean that you detach from what you dream of. I mean that you detach from HOW your dream comes to you. That is essential because the mind imposes tremendous limitations on the possibilities, based on our conditioning. When we connect to the frequency of our dream and then release HOW it shows up, that's when the energy can start to open up and flow.

As long as we stay attached in our head about it, the mind and its thoughts will throw up barriers based on our subconscious fears and conditioning. For example, it will start streaming thoughts like, "But that's impossible. It never happens that way" or "What you want doesn't exist. It's a fairytale" or "You can't afford that car, so just give it up" or "You're not in a position to get that, you don't have the resources so forget it" or "You're not good/pretty/thin enough." These are examples of subconscious thoughts that keep the stream of energy holding our dream from connecting with us in real time.

When we RELEASE all those limiting thoughts, ideas, and stories about why it CAN'T happen—the ones that come from a sense of lack—then Source can connect us with the frequency of our dream, and magic happens! For most of us, getting to the point where we operate out of a prosperity mindset instead of a scarcity mindset takes inner healing work. That's because most of us grew up with some version of scarcity mindset in our lineage, so it is deeply embedded in our psyche. Yet, it can be fairly easily cleared with specific energy techniques such as those I teach and use to help clients unblock their life force.

These are also topics we unpack directly and deeply in the After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program. It's funny how the wisdom of that program applies to so much more than post-breakup thriving...

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Did you know that miracles are all about energy?

8/25/2021

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Let me tell you a story about a miracle in my life. One day I went to the local Toyota dealership with a friend who was looking for a truck. I wasn't shopping, my friend was. In fact, I was dawdling around outside when she came out and said something like, "There's a car inside that you might want to see." I thought, nah, I can't afford any of these, but I followed her inside anyway.

I really needed a new car and in doing research, I'd discovered that what I really wanted was a Toyota Prius hybrid, but then gave up on it after seeing the price tag. I wasn't actively shopping for a car that day, but when I walked inside, there in the middle of the showroom floor was my car—the exact one I'd secretly been wishing for...right down to the color!

I mean, this car had everything I'd dreamed of—leather seats, nice sound system with a cd player, white exterior, gray interior, antilock brakes, all the airbags and safety features, and it was a four-door hatchback...with a price tag that was about $11,ooo less than any I'd seen in my research, so I could actually afford it.

We took the car for a spin, and to my friend's trepidation and surprise, I bought that car on the spot! She kept asking me questions like, "Are you sure? Don't you want to test drive any others? Don't you want to keep looking?" No, no, no was my answer. I knew without a doubt that this was my car. Later that evening after hours of paperwork, I drove it home with a huge smile on my face. That was over 8 years ago and I still love my car.

How is it possible that everything I dreamed of in a car could show up out of the blue for a price I could afford when everything I researched said it did not exist? This kind of experience feels like a miracle, yet it's actually about our energy.

What I'm talking about is c0mmonly known as manifesting. We've all heard that term. It really took off after the movie The Secret came out, but few of us feel that we are any good at it, and most people I know are skeptical that it really works.

I used to be one of those people. I'm not anymore because I've learned that energy awareness is at the heart of manifesting. Manifesting has most to do with frequency, and frequency is energy...and I've come to understand a lot about how energy works.

In the case of my car, what I did was research what I wanted—a Prius hybrid. Then in my imagination, I felt the excitement of how it would be to own one without concern over the cost, and how fun it would be to drive it. I imagined myself listening to music while I drove, feeling proud to be in a hybrid, and how good it would feel to own that car. All of this is typical manifesting work.

But then this happened: when I researched them and realized they were out of my price range, I released that dream because it felt out of reach and impossible. I didn't choose another car because I didn't really want any other car, but I kept researching, hoping I'd land on something that would feel okay.

What I failed to realize at the time was that by dreaming the dream and then releasing it, I actually allowed it to manifest! When we get out of our thoughts (which confound energy) and rest into our feelings (which stimulate energy), we plant seeds into the infinite realm of possibility. And when we release our attachment to how those feelings are brought into our reality, we allow the Universe or Source to answer in unlimited and unexpected ways...like putting the perfect car in the perfect dealership on the perfect day with all the perfect perks at the perfect (unimaginable) price for me.

I never imagined there was a way for me to buy that car. I just assumed it was an impossible dream. But when allowed to flow freely (i.e., without the constraints of my mind), the Universe answered in its amazing, unlimited capacity to do so.

In the case of my car, the Universe manifested one that was a floor demo from the previous year. Since the new models had arrived, they were anxious to ditch the "old" ones. My car is a 2012 model that I bought in 2013 with all of 9 miles on it for an unbelievable price that I could easily afford and never imagined was possible because my research said it wasn't so. Once I dreamed the dream and then released it, I set it free to manifest in whatever way the Universe arranged...and it did.

This is how energy moves through our lives, and although in the example of my car I didn't see it until it happened, the point is that it does happen, every day, all the time. We just have to understand how energy works and learn to work with it instead of against it. That generally means knowing the proper way to ask for what we want, clearing the inner obstacles that block its flow into our life, and then noticing what shows up, which is all fairly easy to do once we know how.

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Are you an "energy sensitive?"

8/24/2021

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I've been called many things in my 57 years of walking this planet, but the one thing that annoys me most is being told that I'm "too sensitive." Any more, I don't take that personally, but back in the day, it made me angry. What I heard when people told me I was "too sensitive" was that my open, loving, sensitive heart made me a bad person or was a bad thing.

And that didn't resonate with me. I kept thinking, "How is feeling things and loving things deeply a bad thing? " Well, today I know that there is a way it can be hurtful rather than helpful, but that's because we don't know how to manage the depth of our sensitivities in an empowering way. When we learn that, our sensitivities shift from a challenge to a gift in our lives.

If you've been accused of being "too sensitive," what that can really mean is any of the following:

you feel things deeply
you are willing to be emotionally vulnerable (or like me, you wear your emotions on your sleeve)
you live from a more authentic space than many people
your psychic and/or empathic capacities are opening or growing
the energy pathways in your body are unblocking or opening
you more easily tune into the subtle energies around you that others generally miss
your personal boundaries are too weak
your auric field is too permeable

Being an empath or being energetically sensitive is different from being reactionary, although we may experience more intense emotional reactions to things when we are energetically sensitive. We may also experience heightened passion around things that we emotionally connect with, which is generally everything...! Or we may find ourselves isolating or avoiding interactions in order to find some peace and calm inside.

Being an empath or an energetic sensitive doesn't make us bad people, and it also doesn't make us special people. Every human being is designed and born to be an empath and energetically sensitive, but our skill in nourishing and mastering this capacity in useful ways is not only ignored, but tends to be conditioned out of us as we grow up.

My view is that humans are, generally speaking, spiritually immature beings, and we want so badly to fit in and feel accepted, safe, and loved that we compare ourselves to others and then hurt each other in a feeble attempt to feel better about ourselves. But we are all capable of greatness and emotional depth when we shed the obstacles that keep us from it. We don't have to get or learn anything new. We just have to access what we already have, what's in our innate nature, that we've lost touch with inside.

You may be wondering how you can turn your energetic sensitivities into a gift that serves you rather than hurts you. Once you know how to activate and cultivate a new kind of relationship with your energy sensitivities, it's actually fairly easy to do. And when you're ready to embrace this journey, you'll know.

Personally, I've been teaching clients specific techniques for how to master their energy sensitivities for over a decade. I share the techniques that I used to get a handle on my own sensitivities, so I not only know how they work but that they work. They are also a part of my transformational coaching and core healing sessions, as well as the After A Breakup H.E.L.P. program I guide women through.

So don't be upset if you're told you are "too sensitive" or "too emotional." I invite you to smile with delight at anyone who calls you that, knowing it's actually a gift, not a curse, once you learn how to master it.

But don't get too cocky just yet! Take steps to make sure that your sensitivities are genuine rather than wound- or trauma driven, because that adds a whole other layer to be addressed.

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This blog offers alternative insights and practical coaching to help restore a sense of personal power and sovereignty in relation to some of life's challenges.

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Where did all our relationship bliss go?

Did your ex discard you like trash and move on quickly?

Have you said THIS after a breakup?

Are you trying to manage or hide empathic or psychic experiences?

How the energy of attachment impacts manifesting

Did you know that miracles are all about energy?

Are you an "energy sensitive?"

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