Thriving in trying times

Things feel a little out of control. I mean, our the world has shut down under a global pandemic we don't know the origin of or how to contain and thousands of people are dying. Storms are increasing in frequency, intensity and location. Some people are hoarding supplies in anticipation of violence arising. And still people are dealing with all the usual mischief in life—unexpected divorce, loss of a job and steady income, unprecedented death, wild fires, floods, a dreaded diagnosis...The list goes on.

THE REALITY OF CONTROL

Despite the unusual nature of 2020, challenge is a part of life. Life has a way of reminding us that we are not in control...ever. And how ironic to be writing about this today, on one of the most shockingly out of control days in North American history—September 11th.

The reality of not having control over the course of our lives can feel overwhelming and frightening, especially since we're conditioned to believe if we play by the rules we were taught, work hard enough and make all the necessary sacrifices, we'll eventually get the payoff of not having to worry. And yet no matter how hard we try or how much we do, we may find ourselves back at the foot of the mountain, never actually feeling ahead of the game.

Sometimes we may get the urge to crumble into a heap of anxiety or hopelessness. It's understandable, especially during times like this that create an extra sense of vulnerability. Humans waste a lot of energy trying to outpace or control life even though we know it is capable of knocking us down whenever it wants to.

THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL

We can find relief by giving up our attachment to control—the notion that we can somehow make life go our way if we do just the right things. We can't. We can't control the flow of life through this dynamic reality, no matter how perfectly or diligently we try. There are too many moving parts. The unexpected will happen, as is so painfully obvious to us all today. There's no way we can anticipate every possibility in every situation all the time.

That doesn't mean our actions make no difference. On the contrary. They make every difference. The actions we take create a ripple that impacts the whole of our reality. Quantum science validates this. We are all interconnected. The seemingly separate bits and pieces of this reality form one living entity, an ocean of life composed of millions of individual bits that make up one living stream of Life.

But we don't need to go down the quantum science rabbit hole today. Today is better served by finding a new balance inside, one in which we stop trying to control or manipulate life into doing our bidding and instead begin to align with its power. Because here's the deal: there's a much larger force than us operating through us. In fact, there's an infinite source of life expressing itself through us, and it will survive even if we do not. That's powerful!

CULTIVATING SERENTIY

To ease our feelings during this pandemic, let's get aligned with that Source, because when we do, the power of life can flow through us more easily, easing our sense of struggle. The first step is to unclench our fists from the things we cannot control and embrace the things we can. For example, we can't control how other people treat us but we can control how we relate to them, and how we treat ourselves.

Now more than ever is a great time to practice self-nourishment. Making time to refill our cup every day calms our nervous system and stimulates creativity, inspiration and heart-opening. We can't live our best life from a place of lack, overwhelm, apathy or depletion. We can't be there for others when we feel exhausted. We can't change our circumstances without energy, inspiration or motivation.

It's not selfish to fill our cup first. It's like they say on an airplane—put on your oxygen mask first, then help others with theirs. When we figure out what our "oxygen mask" is, we can grab it and put it on every day to support our sense of wellbeing. Keeping ourselves full enough to have a positive relationship with life allows us to support those around us in doing the same. Taking care of ourselves is being self-aware, not selfish. We can have a more potent positive impact in life when we keep ourselves strong, confident, open and present.

Here are a few of my favorite "oxygen masks" to play with:

• nourishing movement such as yoga

• meditation

• singing

• moving or dancing to favorite music

• reading an inspiring book

• watching an inspiring movie

• a comforting bath

• a conversation with a dear friend or family member

• a nature walk or sit

• a long (or short) hike

• creative play

• working puzzles

• creative writing

• inner listening such as journaling

• creative visualization

• learning a new language

• making something from anything

• trying new recipes

• doing something sweet for a friend, family member or stranger

• hiding love notes for others

• leaving inspiring messages for your neighbors

• have a pj day of doing whatever you want

• hide inspiring messages for yourself

• helping someone with something

• sitting in the moonlight

These are just a few ideas. Whatever we do, devoting ourselves to doing something self-nourishing every day makes life feel better. Now more than ever before, this feels essential.

You know those things you've thought about doing for years but haven't? Now is the opportunity to stop thinking about it and just do it, because as I like to say...if we change nothing, nothing changes.