The time for women has come

We women are amazing beings. Through centuries of being held down, disregarded, ignored, diminished, disempowered, controlled, abused, beat up and murdered, we are here and we are more awake than ever. We have a voice to be heard. We have a purpose to be seen. And we have a place to be honored.

We are not bound by societal ideologies of "maiden/mother/crone" or "virgin/lover/wife." We exist beyond these simplistic ideologies in a way that adds to and balances the field of Life. This isn't opinion, blame or "man-hating." It's course-correction.

Let's be real. Most of us are sick and tired of the bullshit—the condescending men, the arrogant men, the ignorant men, the sleazy men, the lying men, the placating men, the mansplaining men, the irresponsible men, the immature men, the narcissistic men, the emotionally distant men, the unsafe men. We sigh into the quiet spaces of our lives, wishing for a different kind of relationship with men yet feeling that perhaps it doesn't exist, we don't deserve it or we just can't access it.

Tired of feeling let down, disappointed, blamed, disregarded or unsafe, we do unhealthy things in an attempt to remedy our situation...like we withdraw emotionally or become overly distant, controlling or dominant to protect ourselves. Or we tolerate too much in the name of stability or security. Or we become overly responsible in an attempt to prove something. Or we step out of our integrity to maintain a sense of safety, power or success. Or we cling too tightly to something unhealthy in the hopes of saving what may feel like everything to us.

When these tactics don't resolve things (and they generally won't), it's a short step into frustration, anger, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, or apathy. Try to share this with these men and all you may get back is defensiveness, blame and shame. It's exhausting and demoralizing.

So what can we do as women living in this context?

The first thing to recognize is that this isn't a "women's issue;" it's a societal issue. Under such a social system, women all too often feel disempowered and threatened. Within the context of power inequity, it's not up to the disempowered to correct the error; it's up to society at large and in particular, societal leaders because the disempowered have largely been robbed of the authority to do so.

Woman have been subjugated to the whims of misguided men for centuries, men who are either deeply mentally-emotionally wounded or who embrace false ideologies resulting from intentional manipulations of religious dogma in an attempt to maintain control and power. This is not breaking news and it is not opinion. Scholars have dissected and proven this many times over.

Outside of support from societal leaders, women can endeavor to fortify their own sense of empowerment. We can set and hold clear personal boundaries in relation to men. We can stand up and speak out against inequity. We can share with safe, trustworthy men and solicit their support in standing up with us. We might also encourage these men to enlighten the men in their lives who are caught in false narratives about their own personal power or that of women.

We can also learn to trust and honor ourselves and our intuition. We can heal inner wounds that keep us feeling small or vulnerable. We can take decisive actions to build genuine confidence, self-respect and self-love. We can put down old narratives that were never true about us. We can forgive ourselves for ever believing we were anything less than worthy. We can take our sense of security, self-worth and happiness into our own hands and hearts.

And just as significantly, women can support each other's healing, growth, empowerment, sovereignty and success. How? By actively dismantling false societal ideologies of "women" being less capable. As a start, study the likes of Amelia Mary Earhart, Ida B. Wells, Sylvia Rivera, Suzanne Lenglen, Ada Lovelace, Gertrude "Trudy" Ederle, Maya Angelou, Katherine (Goble) Johnson, Jennifer Figge, and Sally Ride (and there are many, many others).

We can also support each other by respecting each other. By not viewing each other as enemies or competitors. By maintaining our integrity within our relationships with each other. By lifting each other up when challenged, holding each other steady when wobbling and celebrating each other big when excelling. And perhaps most importantly, by building trustworthy relationships with each other that allow us to be safe, honest and vulnerable with each other.

Yet all of these worthwhile endeavors can only get women so far within a skewed system of power. That is where the real change belongs. Women bear life and (as all humans) add oodles of vigor to cultures that embrace a balanced power structure.

One thing is for certain. We women don't get far when we work against each other. We may have differing values, life or political views, and opinions yet that doesn't mean we can't stand up for each other as women in an oppressive social landscape. In fact, it's easy to see all the reasons why we should.

Post Note: This is not a statement about all men in general and also does not imply that women are perfect or somehow exempt from our own misguided ways.