Relationship check-ins keep things real

Sometimes when we're in a relationship, we are so invested in "making it work" that we put aside things that are important to us. We sacrifice things that are meaningful to us. And we ignore our needs, wants or desire in order to keep the peace.

But those strategies only get us so far. We can't feel fulfilled by putting things aside that are important to us, sacrificing things that are meaningful to us and ignoring our needs, wants and desires. Eventually someone winds up feeling resentful or angry about what's happening. If we never speak about these things, they can't be addressed and if we're not careful we end up in a relationship pit feeling unhappy, unfulfilled or trapped.

Open communication is an essential part of creating a healthy relationship. Even though we know this is true, it can feel hard to make it happen. What do you say? Where do you start? How do you share without hurting or angering the other person?

This is where my Relationship Check-In can come in handy. It gives us an easy guide to navigate the conversation. Everything we need to create the safety it takes to share our deeper sense of things and face the hard stuff is there. But it does take a certain amount of willingness, courage, vulnerability and maturity from both people to do. Download the Check-In here.

The Check-In lays out important ground rules that need to be followed for the process to work. They aren't necessarily hard, but depending on our level of defensiveness, they can be a challenge. All we have to do is agree to follow along with what's there...and then actually do so.

When we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, it's natural for emotions to surface. It's how we deal with them that matters. If emotions get too stirred up, it's best to stop, take a break, give each other time to process what arose, and then continue at a later time. Long-term relationships require this kind of presence and nurturing to stay healthy and inspiring.

Remember that the reason to do a check in is to keep our relationship—our love—true, fulfilling and growing.