Admit it—you are part of the problem

When we're in the midst of a challenging experience, we can't see it for what it is. All we see is the pain of it, and all of our energy is focused on surviving it. We go into defense mode and our subconscious strategies kick in...you know, the ones that don't help.

It may be months or years after an experience that we can finally sift through the rubble from a place of witness rather than victim and see it with new eyes. Having the courage to look opens the door. And taking the time to explore bears the clarity and healing we yearn for.

It's hard to look at ourselves, really look, and to admit our errors. We don't want to be victims, but we don't want to be perpetrators either. Sometimes it feels easier to be a victim than it does to take responsibility for our pain or the pain of others. Victims get support. Victims can justify their feelings and actions. Victims can be the "good guy."

Perpetrators—people viewed as the ones who did the hurting—don't get much support. They catch a lot of blame and are held as the "bad guy." Even when the hurt is unintentional, no one wants to hold themselves as a perpetrator. It feels too personal and heavy.

The problem is that none of us are 100% perfect and a very few humans are evolved or enlightened. Most of us won't get out of here with a clean record, even as hard as we may try. On some day in some way we all hurt someone or do something that adds to the pain in the world. Heck, even Jesus had emotional reactions and he was about as spiritually evolved as a person can be!

Our imperfections and immaturity don't make us bad people. They makes us humans with a lot of emotional and spiritual maturing and growth to do. What's not helpful and where problems enter our lives is when we deny our need for this maturation and growth, point fingers at others, ignore our sacred responsibilities here, and place our personal power in our mind when it belongs in our heart.

To rise above these human errors, we must come to realize that we are all players in a sacred soul dance, a flow of Life with a capital "L." It's sacred because every part of it can reawaken us. But we have to be open to receiving this insight to benefit from it, and that can take a great courage.

When we feel like life has let us down, it hasn't. It's giving us an opportunity to heal something deep within our individual and collective psyche and soul. It's not life that lets us down. It's us who let Life down because at the core of life is pure love and most of us don't remember that yet.

But we can get better. We can heal our hearts, tame our egos and learn how to share this love. It's our natural essence, after all. We just need to awaken to that truth.

Remember if we change nothing, nothing changes.