Updated: Aug 7
Hello my friend,
I've been thinking about you, wondering how you're doing.
The holidays are here and for many who are single—especially newly single—it can stir up a lot of emotion.
I'm two years divorced myself, and remember having some pretty emotional days this stretch of the year. Our settlement was in early November, so the holidays hit pretty quickly after, a string from Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Years to Valentine's. I collected the last of my belongings and moved to a new city just two days before Thanksgiving that year.
It was hard, real hard.
There were people I missed—my ex's family and our friends—that we had connected with over the holidays for years, people who hadn't spoken to me since the breakup. It left a hole in my heart and brought tears of grief. It left me feeling lonely and sometimes angry. I wished I could visit with those people and tell them how much I missed them and that I loved them despite what had happened. There were also times when I was mad at them for never reaching out to me, but mostly I just missed them and wanted them to know it. Holidays have a way of stirring that stuff up...
It's good to have somewhere to turn during the hard times when we feel alone and filled with regrets, grief, or anger over the breakup. Sharing our feelings and vulnerabilities with trusted friends or professionals helps us feel normal, safe, held, and loved. Even as our experiences are unique, we can all relate to emotional pain. If we're human, we understand emotional pain.
So if you find yourself grieving a relationship's end this holiday season, I'm sorry. I can relate. And I want you to know you're not alone. Even if we don't know each other in person, we are sisters as far as I'm concerned. And I'll be thinking about you...because I know how hard this can feel.
If you start to feel lonely, go to the private, women-only After A Breakup facebook group for company. There are amazing women in there. If you're not yet a member, click here to join.
You can also imagine that I'm standing there in front of you, looking you in the eyes, holding your hands, and singing this to you: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
If you want to move through your breakup at your own pace but in a way that heals and shifts things at the core, you may be interested in checking out the powerful classes in the Class Menu tab, born out of my own healing journey through past breakups: https://www.drcecizuniga.com/class-menu.html
I wish for you a blessed day and a blessed week. As always...dare to change, because if you change nothing, nothing changes.