Updated: Aug 7
I've been called many things in my 57 years of walking this planet, but the one thing that annoys me most is being told that I'm "too sensitive." Any more, I don't take that personally, but back in the day, it made me angry. What I heard when people told me I was "too sensitive" was that my open, loving, sensitive heart made me a bad person or was a bad thing.
And that didn't resonate with me. I kept thinking, "How is feeling things and loving things deeply a bad thing? " Well, today I know that there is a way it can be hurtful rather than helpful, but that's because we don't know how to manage the depth of our sensitivities in an empowering way. When we learn that, our sensitivities shift from a challenge to a gift in our lives.
If you've been accused of being "too sensitive," what that can really mean is any of the following:
you feel things deeply
you are willing to be emotionally vulnerable (or like me, you wear your emotions on your sleeve)
you live from a more authentic space than many people
your psychic and/or empathic capacities are opening or growing
the energy pathways in your body are unblocking or opening
you more easily tune into the subtle energies around you that others generally miss
your personal boundaries are too weak
your auric field is too permeable
Being an empath or being energetically sensitive is different from being reactionary, although we may experience more intense emotional reactions to things when we are energetically sensitive. We may also experience heightened passion around things that we emotionally connect with, which is generally everything...! Or we may find ourselves isolating or avoiding interactions in order to find some peace and calm inside.
Being an empath or an energetic sensitive doesn't make us bad people, and it also doesn't make us special people. Every human being is designed and born to be an empath and energetically sensitive, but our skill in nourishing and mastering this capacity in useful ways is not only ignored, but tends to be conditioned out of us as we grow up.
My view is that humans are, generally speaking, spiritually immature beings, and we want so badly to fit in and feel accepted, safe, and loved that we compare ourselves to others and then hurt each other in a feeble attempt to feel better about ourselves. But we are all capable of greatness and emotional depth when we shed the obstacles that keep us from it. We don't have to get or learn anything new. We just have to access what we already have, what's in our innate nature, that we've lost touch with inside.
You may be wondering how you can turn your energetic sensitivities into a gift that serves you rather than hurts you. Once you know how to activate and cultivate a new kind of relationship with your energy sensitivities, it's actually fairly easy to do. And when you're ready to embrace this journey, you'll know.
Personally, I've been teaching clients specific techniques for how to master their energy sensitivities for over a decade. I share the techniques that I used to get a handle on my own sensitivities, so I not only know how they work but that they work. They are also a part of my transformational coaching and core healing sessions, as well as the After A Breakup HELP program I guide women through.
So don't be upset if you're told you are "too sensitive" or "too emotional." I invite you to smile with delight at anyone who calls you that, knowing it's actually a gift, not a curse, once you learn how to master it.
But don't get too cocky just yet! Take steps to make sure that your sensitivities are genuine rather than wound- or trauma driven, because that adds a whole other layer to be addressed.